Years go by

Years go by in the blink of an eye. I sit here reflecting on some of the events in my life and wonder what the hell was I thinking back then? Yes, I adopted a dog in winter, then put another beloved dog "to asleep" less than 2 years later. Adopted another dog, a funny, loving, attention-grabbing little girl to comfort the surviving dog, and family.... And then my brother, my poor sweet brother, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2012, and dead 10 months to the day after that horrible discovery. My brother, my protector, my friend. There is no fairness in his death. No justice. I realized that there is no God. We were fed a load of crap and nonsense. We were scammed. There is no God. No all powerful, all knowing no almighty God. We pray to "him" for comfort and favors and blessings, and oh please dear god save my brother who is so devoted to you and is so worthy, not for me but for him, and his wife and children, and the grandchildren he NEVER got to meet. You fucking bastard. You fraud. You piece of shit. You are nothing. I shake my fist to ... What? Nothing. There is no God.